Friday, January 24, 2014
Sadness only covered by anger, anger that ranged from traffic to personal beliefs. But that was 5 years ago. I am not that person anymore. I am not those feelings anymore. I didn't have an out of body experience, I didn't have a mystical vision that redidirectd the trajectory of my life. I worked hard. I worked hard everyday. At everything I did. Mainly my thought patterns. I paid attention to how I thought about everything. I paid attention to how people reacted to my presence. I worked on having empathy for my peers. I pushed my beliefs to their boundaries, and watched them crumble. I let go of the idea that there is one way to live life. I realized there is no difference between spiritual practice and flipping burgers. It's obvious to me now. They are both spiritual practices. I try and follow my intuition and try to stay in the moment. When life gets tuff, I repeat to myself, "here I am, I am here". I know there are no limits to how good of a person I can be. And I also understand the paradoxs of life. Or rather that life is a paradox. It is important that I continue to evolve myself and learn more about who I am and what drives me. Especially before I take another lover. I must be able to treat myself right and make my own happiness before I can meet someone with the same ideal. And pickens are slim. But that's how you know it's gonna be worth the work and wait. I am present in this moment but look to the past to learn, gaze into the future to create.